I took the painful steps to truth and so can you

I started this article yesterday, thinking I would give you six steps to finding self-worth

However, I realized that giving steps to someone who hasn’t made up their mind to take the steps is useless.

If you have low self-worth and negative thinking, here is the problem.

I can give you 100 tips, tell you about books and seminars, give you quotes, and write 100 articles about the steps you need to take, but — none of that will help until you are finally, absolutely willing to take the steps to a better life.

It isn’t easy

1. The way you feel right now is a habit.
2. It’s comfortable.
3. It provides you with excuses to stay right where you are.
4. Sympathy from others reinforces your choice.
5. Fear has become a reliable companion.

I’m not belittling you –

I’m telling you what I have experienced and how I finally took a deep breath and started the steps I feared.

I didn’t have a great childhood

I was raised by an absent, narcissistic, alcoholic mother who expected me to be perfect and separated me from my father.

I was abused physically and sexually, and as an only child, loneliness was my only companion.

Since it’s impossible to be perfect, I did the opposite – I rebelled, did things I shouldn’t and lived in constant fear.

I tried to commit suicide, and I even failed at that!

When my father took me out of that situation, much of the damage had been done

His love helped me heal, but I had convinced myself that I was a worthless failure. My self-confidence and self-worth were barely above zero.

I didn’t know how to change, and living this way was familiar. I could hide in it.

I married, and my wonderful husband helped me change, as did my newly discovered faith.

But I had to choose to believe that I had value

Books, the Bible, sermons, and loving comments were all wonderful, but they did nothing to change me until I realized it was up to me to believe in myself and take the necessary steps.

Fear be damned!

No matter how many “Steps” I read or was told about, they did nothing but make me feel worse. It’s hard to let go of a way of life you’ve lived for many years.

What do you replace it with?

Why didn’t those things help?

Because worse was how I was accustomed to feeling.

Guess what this thought was. “What if I fail when I take those steps?”

It was a crutch and an excuse to stay in my little dark corner of life.

So, when I ask you to stop the excuses, take responsibility for yourself and throw “WHAT IF?” in the trash – I’m speaking from painful experience

No more excuses. No more crutches.

Guess what – if you fail the first time you try to change – BIG DEAL!

Join in with millions of people who failed the first time but didn’t give up!

I’m one of them.

If you stop trying because of one failure, it means you didn’t truly make a firm decision to change – you reverted to excuses

I know because that’s exactly what I did.

My Mother was one of my biggest excuses. I blamed her for everything.

Then, one day, I realized that I was now an adult who was still acting like a child, and the only person stopping me from being a whole, healthy, imperfect human being was me!!!!! Not my Mother.

That was a turning point for me. I took responsibility for my own life and quit blame-shifting.

I’ve learned to make choices and decisions, stop making excuses, and become the person I knew I was meant to be

When I fell, I got back up and moved forward.

I fell 100 times but got up 200 times.

Again, please understand that I’m trying to help you see the truth and find your way out of your dark corner of life.

I know it hurts, but pain is an excellent teacher and leads to healing.

We’ll stop here and resume the conversation in the next Newsletter, but please let me know what your struggles are in the comments.

I’m not here to condemn or judge – I’m here to speak straight up about the struggle and why it’s worth it.

Thank you for reading and God Bless!

See you with part two very soon!

© Fleda Wright-Bennie 2025. All Rights Reserved.